I felt the lesson went well. A visitor to the quorum even came up to me after and thanked me for the lesson. During the closing prayer, the person praying expressed gratitude for the lesson given by a 'man of god' - he referred to me as a man of god. Although I felt good about the lesson - I felt uncomfortable being referred to as a man of god.
Now, to be sure, when I give a lesson and/or talk in church, I choose my words very carefully. I don't say anything I'm not comfortable saying - I only say things I sincerely believe. But, I don't think of myself as a man of god. Heck, I'm struggling with what do I really believe anymore - do I even believe in God? I'm not as certain as I once was. So, I feel a little guilty for maintaining a facade that some, evidently, interpret as being godly. If they only knew of the internal struggle waging inside of me. Shouldn't a man of god be absolutely certain in his faith?
It just makes me wonder if I've become so adept at maintaining a TBM (True Believing Mormon) facade at church that I do it without even thinking. A rather disturbing thought as I don't want to wear a facade - I just want people to see me as I am, the real me.
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On a completely different topic, I'm really liking Mondo Guerra in this season's Project Runway; and, I think he could win this season. I like Christopher Collins too (not just because he's the cutest of the bunch), he could be the dark horse contestant. Mondo seems a bit odd (he definitely marches to his own drum); but, he's so nice and likable - you just want to give him a big hug. It's always fun to see what outfit he's going to wear next.
I was glad to see Ivy Higa go last week; and, I'm hoping Gretchen Jones gets ax'd soon - but I think Gretchen will make it into the final 3. Gretchen is just so manipulating and conniving and unlikeable.
My wife and I are also enjoying the new show Top Chef Just Desserts - it's kinda like a cross between Top Chef and Project Runway - a gay Top Chef. Although, I did feel a tad be uncomfortable when Seth Caro had his meltdown and started crying for his mommy. I mean seriously, I know there is a lot of stress - but you're 34 years old, get a grip on yourself.