tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4956057989227103850.post692667249528575126..comments2023-10-19T09:36:41.506-05:00Comments on A Mormon Enigma: Six stages in coming outAbelard Enigmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13166049686152203530noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4956057989227103850.post-78790026805036629622008-01-16T14:24:00.000-06:002008-01-16T14:24:00.000-06:00Chris, I will agree with you that the progressions...Chris, I will agree with you that the progressions through stages like these are easier said than done, and it's not easy to skip. You hit that one on the head.Kengo Biddleshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12083962910965544925noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4956057989227103850.post-34110098202475678462008-01-16T14:04:00.000-06:002008-01-16T14:04:00.000-06:00I certainly went through Stage 5. There were thin...I certainly went through Stage 5. There were things about that stage that I liked and were very empowering. There were other things about it that I didn't like.<BR/><BR/>Sometimes it's hard to control how you feel, and that was certainly true for me in that stage of coming out. Just skipping it is easier said that done.Chrishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05940646193920094814noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4956057989227103850.post-26271360315421781672008-01-15T22:07:00.000-06:002008-01-15T22:07:00.000-06:00the list that you found, Abe is more for those who...<I>the list that you found, Abe is more for those who wish to embrace and engage in homosexual relationships</I><BR/><BR/>[sigh] I suppose you're right. Maybe I should have read the book before posting about it.<BR/><BR/>But, I think there is some applicability even for those of us who are coming out to ourselves. As I wrote earlier, I can certainly relate with the early stages.<BR/><BR/><I>WhyAbelard Enigmahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13166049686152203530noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4956057989227103850.post-50927031515330591932008-01-15T18:51:00.000-06:002008-01-15T18:51:00.000-06:00I don't like step 5 "Feel arrogance/pride in new i...I don't like step 5 "Feel <B>arrogance</B>/pride in new identity and <B>deep rage</B> toward majority culture."<BR/><BR/>Why does accepting who you are have to include becoming a jerk? I vote for just plain skipping step 5 and going from 4 to 6.Max Powerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14955796304197971564noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4956057989227103850.post-11198547158245237632008-01-15T17:12:00.000-06:002008-01-15T17:12:00.000-06:00I would say that the list that you found, Abe is m...I would say that the list that you found, Abe is more for those who wish to embrace and engage in homosexual relationships, whereas those like us are happy to stay at acceptance and have a limited amount of disclosure.<BR/><BR/>I brought up that quote because obviously we're going to disclose to some people our natures, but not everyone, because most Mormon's and straights in general can't Kengo Biddleshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12083962910965544925noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4956057989227103850.post-51388422404700152392008-01-15T16:41:00.000-06:002008-01-15T16:41:00.000-06:00This is a flawed example, Abe, because some of us ...<I>This is a flawed example, Abe, because some of us are fine to pass for straight, and let those who would understand know who and what we really are.</I><BR/><BR/>"Passing for straight" means not coming out. These are stages of coming out. No model is perfect, but I think this is a very good summary of what gay people who come all the way out go through.Chrishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05940646193920094814noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4956057989227103850.post-57546724373936926692008-01-15T12:48:00.000-06:002008-01-15T12:48:00.000-06:00Hmmm, I was not thinking in terms of how others vi...Hmmm, I was not thinking in terms of how others view us. I was thinking in terms of how we view ourselves.<BR/><BR/>I can certainly relate to being in an "Identity Confusion" state followed by an "Identity Comparison" state of wondering, and feeling very alone (thinking I must be the only gay Mormon in the whole entire world who remains active in the church). As I came to accept my orientation,Abelard Enigmahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13166049686152203530noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4956057989227103850.post-40637793854849744892008-01-15T11:59:00.000-06:002008-01-15T11:59:00.000-06:00This is a flawed example, Abe, because some of us ...This is a flawed example, Abe, because some of us are fine to pass for straight, and let those who would understand know who and what we really are.<BR/><BR/>After all, we live in a world where "[we] better brace [our]selves for a whole lotta ugly comin' at [us] from a neverending parade of stupid." Most members of the church won't understand us, and most gays won't understand us, either.Kengo Biddleshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12083962910965544925noreply@blogger.com