Consumed

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Consumed by Mormon Enigma

I am consumed
Consumed in my thoughts
Thoughts I cannot share
Yet, I long to share
My thoughts dominate my very being
Overshadowing everything else in my life
My heart aches to share these thoughts
But, I cannot
Must not
Will not
But, how can I not share?
If I don’t share, I will explode
But, if I do share, I will implode
How to decide
When either choice could destroy me

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I wrote this verse in my personal journal on November 4, 2006. Looking back at my journal, there was a lot of activity in this time period with, sometimes, several entries per day. This realization of being gay was occupying my thoughts day and night which led to this verse.