Stuck on the horns of a dilemma

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Stuck on the horns of a dilemma by Mormon Enigma
Two choices
Both desirable, yet repugnant
Either one might bring me relief
Either one might bring me happiness
Either one could me bring misery
Either one could me bring sadness
Advocates on both sides, praising one and cursing the other
Hearkening to me that their choice is best
How to choose
Must I choose?
If I don’t choose, will a choice be made for me?
I plead, give me another choice
Another option
I cannot abide by either of these choices
As I am afraid that either choice
Will ultimately extinguish my soul

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I wrote this verse in early November 2006. I don't know the exact date because I didn't write it in my journal. I had started to collect these verses into an MS Word document on my computer which is where I wrote this verse.

The choices referred to in this verse are to either forsake or embrace being gay. The reality is that I don't want to do either. Being gay is part of who I am. If you take that away then I am no longer me. I cannot forsake being gay any more than I can forsake having curly hair and blue eyes. However, I am unwilling to embrace being gay and living a, so called, 'gay lifestyle'.