Friday, December 22, 2006

To be gay, or not to be gay

Since I'm married and gay celibate, I try not to look at nor think about other guys; much like a married straight guy tries to not look at nor think about other women (OK, so maybe I look a little; but, be honest, don't straight married guys steal glances at other women?). So, what is it about me that makes me gay?

As I mentioned in a previous post, I don't think being gay is all about having sex with other men. I believe that there is also a non-sexual aspect to being gay. I am referring, in part, to personality and interests. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I prance around my house in my wife's clothes when I'm alone. Nor do I think I act effeminate in any way. I'm not even an emotional person (at least around other people).

To illustrate my point, a few weeks ago, I was attending the Gospel Non-Essentials class during in Sunday School (which takes place in the hallways and lobby at church). There were a couple of guys standing in the hallway talking about some football game (or something else equally as boring); so, I moved onto the lobby where there were some women talking about grocery stores. I joined the conversation and mentioned how excited I was that a Central Market was opening up in the area. I then went on to describe the Central Market I had been to a few times. Now, how gay is that? (BTW, our new Central Market has a salt bar - how cool is that? Now I need to do some research into different salts.)

Speaking of sports, what is it with straight guys and sports? As you can probably guess, I'm not into sports at all. (Which is likely one of the big reasons I was always the last one picked in P.E. class back when I was in school. But, I digress). I can comprehend how some people enjoy playing sports. There are certain activities that I enjoy; so, I can understand that there are different activities that other people enjoy. I can even comprehend how some people might enjoy going to a sports event. I was in band and went to the football games. I couldn't tell you what the score was at the end of the game; but, I enjoyed the camaraderie with the other band members. But, what is beyond my ability to comprehend is how anyone can sit and watch a football game on TV. I think I would rather go have a root canal than to sit and watch a football game on TV (and, I've had three root canals, so I know what I'm talking about). I just don't get it! And, don't bother trying to explain it to me because I don't care to get it. (how gay is that?).

Now there are certain aspects to the gay stereotype that I do not fit into. Fashion, for example. I am more of a fashion disaster. In my world, comfort trumps fashion. I work out of my home and often wear the same thing for several days in a row (or until my wife makes me take it off so that it can be washed).

Other things I'm interested in:
  • Music. Not so much listening to music, but creating music. I sing in our ward choir. I'm really into folk music and play several folk instruments (hammer dulcimer, penny whistle, recorder, autoharp). Back in school, I played the String Bass as my main instrument; although, I also played Tuba in marching band.
  • Photography. I love taking pictures. I have a Nikon D70 Digital SLR camera which I take with me just about everywhere.
  • Model Railroading. Specifically, the G scale (or large scale) model trains (LGB, Aristocraft, etc.). I have a garden railroad that winds around my back yard.
  • Gardening. Correction, I don't really like the actual gardening part; but, I do like having a nice garden with lots of flowers. I try to have different flowering plants so that something is in bloom throughout the growing season. I also like to include plants that attract butterflies (both as a food nectar source and as a larval plant for butterflies to lay eggs on).
Not everything about me is gay. I do have some stereotypical male traits. The TV remote control, for example. I must have it in my hand when watching TV; No one else is allowed to touch it. And then there are hardware stores. I love going to Home Depot and Lowes. A few months ago I needed to purchase a new cordless drill. I spent the better part of a Saturday going back and forth between different stores looking at drills. I especially love all of the neat accessories you can get for the drill (OK, maybe I'm starting to get a little gay again).

So, how can a guy be both gay and straight at the same time? The fact of the matter is, being gay isn't a black and white thing. There are degrees of gay-ness. They've even made a gay scale (called the Kinsey Scale)

0 = total heterosexual
1 = predominately heterosexual with some homosexual tendencies
2 = predominately heterosexual with strong homosexual tendencies
3 = bisexual
4 = predominately homosexual with strong heterosexual tendencies
5 = predominately homosexual with some heterosexual tendencies
6 = total homosexual

So, where do I fit on the Kinsey Scale? I'm definitely not a '0', '1' or '2'. I don't think I'm a '3' because, frankly, I'm just not all that interested in women (except for my wife). But, I don't think I'm a '6' either (I don't think I would be able to stay married if I were). By default, that means I'm probably a '4' or a '5'. I guess I'll just go with '4.5'.

1 comment:

iasme said...

Try this to see where you rank, just for fun: http://www.youthnetsouthampton.org.uk/
breakout/kleingrid.php.