Wednesday, December 20, 2006

The Way I Am

The Way I Am by Mormon Enigma

I don’t know why I am the way I am
I don’t know if it is an inherent trait from birth
Or the culmination of experiences from my youth
But, one thing I do know
Is that I did not choose to be this way
The choice was made for me
By forces beyond my control
Conspiring together to make me who I am
And, I must believe that there is a purpose
God would not punish one of his children thus
Therefore, it must be part of His grand design
And, if it be from God
Then I must accept who I am
For, to do otherwise
Would be an insult to God
But, what grand purpose does He have
For making me the way I am?
What is it that He would have me do?
Life is an exploration
A journey
So, as I travel down the road of life
It is up to me to discover my purpose
My reason for being
And to seize upon the very essence of my existence
So that when I return to God
He will say to me “Well done, thou good and faithful servant”
And I will spend the rest of eternity
Praising God
For making me the way I am

I wrote this verse in my personal journal on November 9, 2006. This marks the time when I finally accepted myself as a gay man. I had reached a point where I no longer felt shame about being gay. This was a major turning point in my life and has put me on a different path than I was before; although, I don't know where this path will ultimately lead. But, I am feeling better about myself - more than I ever recall feeling before in my life.

1 comment:

Abelard Enigma said...

Migrated from mormon-enigma-verses blog on 5/05/2010

3 comments had been received

Loyalist (with defects) said...

This is my favorite poem yet.

Thank you.
February 1, 2007 4:41 PM

Mel said...

I hope I'm not infringing here, but I love that poem because it speaks to me too. I'm not gay, but bi-polar and my family and friends see me as being 'different' or as someone who is not whole. They treat me with kid gloves and talk behind my back about my well and not so well being.

Thank you for posting this poem. I'm glad I found it. I hope I'm not taking anything away from you nor your poem by saying that I can relate, but in a different way. Suffering is suffering.
October 25, 2008 6:33 AM

Abelard Enigma said...

No, you're not infringing at all. I'm happy it has special meeting for you.
October 25, 2008 7:01 AM