Being laid off from work has me feeling all discombobulated. And, I don't think the timing could have been any worse. I was informed that I'm being laid off the day before my daughter's wedding - and my last day at work was my first day back after my son's wedding.
I still haven't told anybody in my ward - I mean, how are you supposed to bring it up in conversation?
Them: How are you?Plus, with conference, Easter, and being out of town for my son's wedding - there just hasn't been much of an opportunity. With traveling to and from Florida, I haven't even been in church the last two Sunday's (just got back last night).
Me: Oh, I got laid off work, my life sucks, and I don't have any idea what my future holds - but otherwise I'm just peachy.
The thing is - I really haven't enjoyed my job much for the last few years. I've tried to do the best I could - and I got good ratings at work. But the thought of finding another job doing the same thing depresses me. Unfortunately, the things I would enjoy doing don't bring in enough money to pay the bills. So, I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. How am I supposed to network if I don't even know what I want to do with my life going forward?
I've been working on my resume - and it's really hard trying to make my job sound interesting, exciting, and that I made a difference in the lives of others. I mean, how do you make "I wrote a design document and handed it off to a group of computer programmers in India to implement" sound interesting? It might have taken me months to come up with that design - but in retrospect, it just sounds lame. And, does anybody even care about some computer program I designed and implemented 25 years ago?
I'm feeling over loaded. I don't want to deal with any of this - I just want to shut down. I want to withdraw. I want to wrap myself in a cocoon and escape from all of this.
Maybe I should just go around blaspheming in hopes of being hit by a bolt of lightening so that my wife can collect life insurance . . .