Sometimes . . . I don't want to be gay anymore. I don't just mean the terminology - I don't want to be attracted to guys. Not that I have anything against gay folk; some of the nicest people I know are gay. It's just that for someone in my position - a man married to a woman - it's dang inconvenient to be heterosexually-challenged.
I can't help being gay. I try to not let it define me - but it is an important part of who I am. Telling me to ignore my gayness is like telling a tall person to ignore their height. Do you want them going around conking their head on door frames? But, just as a tall person may sometimes wish they were of more average height, or a person might wish they had straight or curly hair - I sometimes wish I liked girls more. Well ... truth be told ... more than 'sometimes'.
It's just not fair! It's not fair to my wife; it's not fair to me. Why do guys have to be so dang attractive?