Merry Chrismahanukwanzakah

Every year it seems like the Christmas decorations go up earlier than before. Thanksgiving has all been but usurped by the Christmas holiday season; and, it seems as though Halloween won't be far behind. Christmas is the biggest shopping time of the year, and the corporate greed machine kicks in to full gear devising bigger and better ways to separate us from our money. It's easy to become discouraged during this time of year by the rampant commercialization that, at times, can overshadow the Christmas spirit.

But, despite all of the frenzied hustle and bustle, this is a special time of the year. It is a time for us to be with family and friends. It is a time for us to celebrate the single most significant event in the history of the world - the birth of the Son of God.

As you are driving around doing last minute shopping with cars honking and people pushing and shoving - Imagine what it must have been like in Bethlehem those many years ago with people from all around converging upon that small town and overwhelming its resources.

As you listen to Christmas music and attend one of the many holiday parties enjoying fellowship with family and friends - imagine how the shepherds must have felt when the heavens opened up with an angelic chorus, how they too wanted to seek after that lowly stable in fellowship with one another.

As you are out shopping for that perfect gift for a friend or loved one - remember the gifts of the maggi who traveled from afar seeking out the Christ child to present to him their most precious gifts.

As you see children lined up to sit on Santa's lap eager to tell him what they want - think of Joseph, a strong, silent, almost unknown man; a man chosen by God to raise the Christ child in mortality seeing to His wants and needs.

Most of the people who read this blog share a common bond - a certain affinity for people of our own gender. As such, we are misunderstood and maligned. At times it can seem like a tremendous burden, especially for those of us who consciously choose to suppress these feelings. Even those who have chosen a different path often feel reproof and condemnation from those who profess love of mankind.

But, it is also a gift - because it grants to us an ability to love our fellow men and women in a way that others cannot comprehend. I'm not referring to a sexual love, but a brotherly and sisterly love that transcends.

A number of months ago, as I was coming to grips with this part of me, a part that, for most of my life, I had tried in vain to deny existed, I wrote the following poem. I want to leave this with you as a gift to my fellow residents on the gay island of misfit Mormon's - my family.

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The Way I Am by Abelard Enigma
I don’t know why I am the way I am
I don’t know if it is an inherent trait from birth
Or the culmination of experiences from my youth
But, one thing I do know
Is that I did not choose to be this way
The choice was made for me
By forces beyond my control
Conspiring together to make me who I am
And, I must believe that there is a purpose
God would not punish one of his children thus
Therefore, it must be part of His grand design
And, if it be from God
Then I must accept who I am
For, to do otherwise
Would be an insult to God
But, what grand purpose does He have
For making me the way I am?
What is it that He would have me do?
Life is an exploration
A journey
So, as I travel down the road of life
It is up to me to discover my purpose
My reason for being
And to seize upon the very essence of my existence
So that when I return to God
He will say to me “Well done, thou good and faithful servant”
And I will spend the rest of eternity
Praising God
For making me the way I am

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May this holiday season bring you joy and happiness as you journey through life on your chosen path.