Why am I feeling distressed?
- The LDS church preaches a position of political neutrality. LDS church policy explicitly states that church buildings are not to be used for political purposes - yet the LDS church was actively involved in a political battle in California - and now we learn that church facilities were utilized in this political campaign.
- The LDS church asserts that churches and religious organizations are well within their constitutional rights to speak out and be engaged in the many moral and ethical problems facing society - yet, it is not politically involved in other moral and/or ethical issues - even other countries and states with similar measures on their election ballot are ignored.
- Our 11th article of faith states: We claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may - yet, we do not grant this privilege to those who believe that same sex marriage is ordained of God.
- One of our hymns has the phrase: "True to the truth for which martyrs have perished" ("True to the Faith," Hymns #254) - yet LDS church leaders participated in the spread of half truths and lies in the days leading up to November 4th, 2008, such as when Elder David A. Bednar, while speaking to a group of young adults, suggested that passage of proposition 8 would result in the church losing its free speech right to preach against gay marriage.
- One of the temple recommend questions asks: Are you honest in your dealings with your fellowmen? - yet, we find out this week that the LDS church had had failed to report donations to the tune of $190K - nearly a hundred times more than what they previously reported.
I'm not sure I know what to believe anymore - and therein lies my conflict: Once I start to believe a modern day prophet can be wrong about one thing - it opens the door to them being wrong about other things.
President Wilford Woodruff taught that a prophet will never be allowed to lead the Church astray. But why? Doesn't the prophet have the same free agency that the rest of us enjoy in this earthly plane of existence? Is this teaching supported by scripture? How do we know President Woodruff isn't leading us astray with this teaching? Isn't it imperative that we all receive our own personal witness and not rely on blind faith?
I suppose some will proclaim that I'm being lead astray by Satan - the master of lies. Others will suggest that my eyes are truly beginning to open to the real truth.
But, I just don't know what to think anymore . . .
By choosing to become politically involved in the proposition 8 battle in California - the LDS church has drawn a line in the sand for all of us - worldwide. But, right now, I feel like I am straddling that line - and I need to decide which side of the line I belong on. The answer is not as clear cut as many would have us believe.