I received a Scribit suggestion recently - which surprised me as I thought I remembered receiving an email that the Scribit gadget was going away. Anyway, an anonymous reader asked
Does your wife know about your SGA now? If not, what advice do you give to wives to help?First off, anonymous reader, I do not struggle with same gender attraction - I struggle with opposite gender attraction. Being attracted to men feels natural and normal for me. That said - yes, my wife is fully aware of my gayness. Although, it isn't something we talk about much. Often it's more the elephant in the room - something we're both acutely aware of but neither wants to bring it up. But, I remain faithful and 100% committed to her.
I think every girl, at some point in her life, dreams of a fairy tale marriage where she meets her prince charming. But, for some girls, instead of prince charming - they get a fairy. It may not be fair, but that's just how life is - life isn't fair.
As far as advice I might have for wives - I think you need to look at the positives rather than the negatives. Sure, we're not going to look at you the same way that straight men might - even sexual intimacy may be difficult for us (you're just not plumbed the right way - sorry, that's just how it is). But, there are positive aspects to having a gay husband. We probably like to shop more than a straight husband might, we are great cooks, we may even like watching chick flicks with you. It's like having a gay best friend and a husband all wrapped up in a single package.
A couple of years ago I wrote a post titled Women who love men who love men which I think sums up my feelings pretty well.
I don't even know if any of the people who were once regular readers are even around any more - I've certainly not given them any reason to be. But, just in case anybody cares ...
I'm still here - still gay - still married - still active in church - still unemployed (sort of)
But, I've been very very busy. My wife and I started an embroidery business in our home (try doing that with a straight husband). We have two 6-thread embroidery machines and have been working 12-14 hours/day trying to keep up with the demand. Who knew there was such a big demand for custom embroidery? Maybe we're just not charging enough ...
I certainly didn't expect us to be this busy, at least in the beginning. I seriously don't even know if we're making money as I haven't had much time to delve into the bookkeeping aspects of a business. I almost hate to say it - but I kinda hope business slows down a bit so that we have time to sit down and figure out how to work smarter, get our website up and going, and a bunch of other stuff that's been on the back burner.
I will have to say that being so busy has had a positive impact on my depression issues. I feel stressed - but I'm not so depressed about it. I guess just feeling like I'm useful and that I matter does a lot for my self esteem.
I know you can't see their faces (I don't feel comfortable posting recognizable pictures) - but trust me, they were both smiling ear to ear.
And ... this pretty much sums up my feelings. I believe in God - I believe in the LDS church - and I believe the LDS church is totally wrong in how they approach homosexuality.
Two men in love - true love. And they are both happier now that they have each other in their lives. And I believe God is happy with their union.
Many people do not understand how I can hold such conflicting views. I can't explain it either; but, it is that very conflict which prompted the name of this blog - as I feel like an enigma.