Wednesday, June 27, 2007

My Secret Garden

This is blog post #100!; so, I thought I would blog about where I am. A sort of "State of Abelard Enigma" address.

Abelard Enigma takes a lot of pride in his garden. Through a lot of hard work and by the sweat of his brow, there are many beautiful things in his garden.

These are actual pictures of his garden taken two days ago (on Monday).

He calls it his secret garden because it is enclosed in a fenced back yard; so, few people actually get to see and enjoy it.

But, it is a place of refuge, a place Abelard likes to retire for contemplation.

But, with all of the rain this year. He is fighting a losing battle with weeds - they seem to be growing faster than he can pull them.

But, even in the weeds he finds beauty. And, he feels compelled to keep them, even nourish them. He can't allow himself to pull them out of his garden.

And so it is with his life. There are many beautiful things in Abelard's life. Beautiful things that have only come about because of his hard work, by the sweat of his brow. But, there are also weeds in his life - and sometimes, it feels like the weeds are winning.

And, there are some weeds that he finds beautiful to behold - and he can't bear the thought of parting with them. For example, the picture below. For Abelard, this epitomizes what it means to be gay. It's not about sex. To be brutally honest, he finds some of the ways gay men engage in sex to be a bit disturbing. No, it's not about sex at all - it's about love!

Abelard wants to be the man in the white teeshirt. He wants to be wanted by another man - he wants to be loved by another man! His head tells him it is wrong to want that. But, his heart tells him it is beautiful. And, thus, Abelard is a man of conflict.

But, don't fret, Abelard Enigma isn't about to jump ship into the queer culture. He knows his place - and that is at home with his wife and family, and at church with his ward family. He loves french fry's too, but he knows he shouldn't eat them (well, he does eat them sometimes - bad example).

So, there you have it. Abelard has a lovely garden - as long as you ignore the weeds.

... and Abelard doesn't know why he wrote this post in 3rd person.


MoHoHawaii said...

MoHoHawaii has been both of the guys in the picture at various times and now finds that he can't really remember what it was like to be excluded from gay flower giving. Weird.

MHH would probably follow the same path as Abelard, given similar circumstances, except with respect to church activity.

MHH thinks Abelard is a great guy and wishes him all the best.

iwonder said...

Wow, those are some very beautiful flowers. Another of the reasons I love gardening is because I also enjoy just sitting outside and taking pleasure in nature. I find the outdoors the best place to "find myself" and to go to contemplate.

And brutal honestly is always good, in my opinion.

And french fries are delicious. Especially when covered with gravy and cheese curds. (A Canadian dish called "Poutine").

Kengo Biddles said...

Abe: Did I start something by posting flowers after seeing Danish Boy's flowers? Hmmm.

MHH: I agree, I think that Abe is a great guy!

iwonder: We're seriously going to have to orchestrate a garden party with you and Danish Boy, and Abe, if he can be persuaded to visit! ;)

And poutine?! {homer simpson}*drool* graaa.....poutine....{/homer simpson}

Gimple said...

Abelard, I loved your post! I love third person. I was also going to comment in third person but MHH already did and that would be lame.

I love your garden. I'm jealous. I don't have a garden. :(

I think that you are amazing and that your weeds make you beautiful. We all have our own weeds and it makes us unique and they give us unique experiences. I respect you a great deal. You are freakin' amazing!