Thursday, September 11, 2008

Something in the air?

I was catching up on blogs over lunch - and both Mark Johnson (aka Another Gay Mormon aka Shades of Gay) and Chase (Sneakers in Sacrament) blogged about coming out on facebook. Then I read the comments, and Kengo Biddles mentioned he had been thinking about the same thing.

What makes this really weird is that I was writing on the wall of my wifes facebook page this morning and the thought occurred to me - what if I put 'gay' down as my orientation in my facebook profile, that would sure raise some eyebrows. And, then I thought - I wonder if anybody has ever come out on facebook?.

What's going on here? We live in different parts of the country, so it can't be the water. I've never even met another MoHo in person. Is this the next phase of that 'gay agenda' I keep hearing about? Some sort of subliminal suggestion to come out on facebook? What's next? Will I start having this uncontrollable urge to start singing show tunes while out in public? Will the word 'fabulous' start showing up in my everyday vernacular? - oh wait, that started a few months ago.

18 comments:

kevin said...

When I got back from my mission, I saw that one of my friends came out on facebook. Now, since I was gone for two years, I'm not sure if facebook was the principle stage for his coming out, but it may have been. I haven't asked.

I guess there would be pros and cons to coming out on facebook...the pros including the fact that EVERYONE will INSTANTLY know. The cons including the fact that it very impersonal.

But the power of media is great. If you're shy, or don't want much ado about the event (it seems easier than inviting over some friends or something to tell them...that just seems intimidating), than why not use facebook?

I don't know. My opinion is still that it is a bad idea in general. I mean, dozens of my friends were upset when they found out through facebook that I got engaged...(like I would actually call 30 people in one day over switching my relationship status)...but that's different, I know.

Anyways, I'm sorry Abelard--this is getting as long as your original post.

Kengo Biddles said...

I couldn't help but notice you took my name in vain, Abelard. ;)

I've thought about it, but as Kevin has said, there are risks...and for those like you and me, Abelard, the repercussions on our wives and children must weigh in the balance.

And Kevin--I think you're the first straight guy I've seen comment on any of our blogs...but glad to see the influx of us in relation to your rebuttal in the Daily Universe hasn't made you skittish.

Kengo Biddles said...

That came across as terribly exclusionist. Sheesh. Sorry!

Abelard Enigma said...

dozens of my friends were upset when they found out through facebook that I got engaged.

Facebook is how I keep tabs on my own children and what's going on in their lives :)

I couldn't help but notice you took my name in vain

Um, sorry? (I'm actually kinda confused about this statement)

And Kevin--I think you're the first straight guy I've seen comment on any of our blogs

Now be nice to my friend Kevin, he can't help being straight - it's not like he chose to be that way.

Clint said...

I came out in sacrament meeting and then on my blogs/facebook the next day. My family/closest friends I had told personally...or via email (I have a lot of brothers and sisters).

I guess the internet has been pretty pivotal in my outing. It's weird how, to me, it wouldn't have been 100% public until I put it on Facebook. Has Facebook become the press release for the individual?

Silus Grok said...

I've left my facebook orientation statement blank (I think it makes me sound like I'm on the prowl or that I'm some sort of item in a catalog), but I do mention that I'm gay in my write-up. FWIW.

kevin said...

Thanks for sticking up for me, Abelard :)

Philip said...

I'll bring this up because no one has yet brought it up. Several news items and articles have come out about employers checking out potential employees on Facebook and other such social networks. Seems like an intrusion on the potential employee's privacy but what's to prevent the employers from doing it?

Regards,
Philip

Silus Grok said...

It's a solid point, I think — but I must admit to chuckling at the notion that looking at your public profile on Facebook might be considered an invasion of privacy.

:)

Abelard Enigma said...

employers checking out potential employees on Facebook and other such social networks

I'm not sure where I stand on this - although I have to agree with silus that checking out a public profile is hardly an intrusion of privacy. But, it is kind of rude, in a busy-body sort of way.

I grew up being taught to never write anything down that you wouldn't want everyone else to know. I think that is certainly true with social networking. Don't put anything in your public profile that you don't want everyone to know.

Ezra said...

I think something is in the air--both Clint (Formally known as Cliff) and Chase came out this week--AMAZING!

I can't wait until I become comfortable enough to do the same.

Everyone else gives me strength, I'm just glad I found the Moho sphere.

Abelard Enigma said...

I'm just glad I found the Moho sphere.

Welcome to the family! I added you to my list of family - I hope you don't mind.

Philip said...

By invasion of privacy, I wasn't talking in legal terms. I meant it seemed inappropriate for an employer to go into someone's Facebook. It's just like reading someone's diary. There is no law against it but it's common courtesy not to. So I don't think there is a legal basis to prevent an employer from doing it but it is so unseemly.

Regards,
Philip

Silus Grok said...

Philip: that's just the point. This is absolutely not like reading someone's diary. Facebook is a globally broadcast publication. Thinking anything else is indulging in a personal fantasy.

If you don't want folks to know about something, keep it off the internet.

Of course, I acknowledge the irony of my saying this — I'm writing from behind a pseudonym. But I'm not under the illusion that my real-life identity is an actual secret.

Abelard Enigma said...

it seemed inappropriate for an employer to go into someone's Facebook ... it is so unseemly.

Who runs these these HR departments? Gladys Kravitz?

Silus Grok said...

Hey Abelard … didn't mean to take this so far off topic. I'm just a little passionate about this and other aspects of the privacy and employment debates.

I take privacy and worker rights seriously, and I think that the naivety evinced in comments such as these hurt both causes.

So there you go.

Again, sorry for the hijack.

: )

Ezra said...

No, I don't mind, though my blog is not a "moho" blog in that I'm not out or discussing the issue on it, but it is owned by a Moho, so in that respect, cool!

Abelard Enigma said...

my blog is not a "moho" blog in that I'm not out or discussing the issue on it

No matter, you're still part of the family.