Thursday, November 27, 2008


The truth of the matter is, I'm really not very gay in my everyday real life. I love Home Depot; I have a collection of power tools (and I know how to use them); I don't go around ranting about gay rights, proposition, 8, or anything else gay related. If you were to meet me, unbeknownst of who I am - I doubt I would set off your gaydar - well except, perhaps, if you met me in the theater when I went to see High School Musical 3 :)

The subtitle of this blog is: An exploration of what it means to be Married, Mormon, . . . and Gay. This is where I express my gay self. I really don't expose much of the non-gay part of me here - because this is my gay blog - this is where I allow my inner gay to roam free; so, it is fitting that this be where I express my gay gratitude.

I am gay grateful for
  • Finally accepting the fact that I am gay
  • Being married to a woman who didn't leave me when she learned that she is married to a gay man
  • My gay friends I've met here in the queerosphere and elsewhere
  • Gay pioneers who ushered in an era of gay rights - and who produced a societal environment where I could finally accept being gay
This doesn't mean that I'm not grateful for other things, like God and family. It only means that this isn't the place where I express that greater part of me.

1 comment:

Philip said...


First, Happy Thanksgiving.

I wouldn't make a distinction between being gay and loving Home Depot and having a collection of power tools and flying under the gaydar.

If I have learned anything is that you can be gay and a headbanger or an athlete or a MoHo. In other words, there is no one way to be gay.

I wish society didn't make it so difficult for gay people to integrate all their feelings into their everyday real life.

Or to put it another way to let being gay become background like other factors.

For instance, I am Puerto Rican and have brown hair (well mostly brown still) and a Catholic. All these factors are part of my background; all color my everyday real world and yet none of them separately or together define me.

I just want gay lumped together with all my other factors and be seen for who I am, an individual influenced by but not defined by many factors that make up my background.

I want people to look into my eyes and really listen to what I say instead of looking for telltale signs.