There were a lot of visitors at church yesterday who were in town for the big BYU game. I'm still flabbergasted that so many people would travel so far for s stupid football game. We're just one ward - and not particularly close to the stadium where the game was played. I imagine quite a few other wards in the area were also full of visitors. And these weren't just people who happened to know someone in my ward - these were random people who happened to be staying in an area hotel.
There was a big exodus after Sacrament meeting. Can't blame them - I've done the same when I'm out of town and attending church. But a few stayed for the entire 3 hour block of meetings. But they didn't talk much as they were too hoarse from the game. Seriously, one guy stood up to introduce himself in priesthood opening exercises and could hardly talk. Not surprisingly, a lot of members of my ward also went to the game - and they weren't talking much either. That was OK by me as I really didn't want to hear about it anyway.
I am kinda confused about the whole thing. We got a team from Utah and a team from Oklahoma playing football - so why the heck were they in Dallas, Texas? But, don't bother trying to explain it to me - my eyes will probably glaze over and I'll start thinking about flowers or french frys something.
Mind you - I don't have anything against BYU football in particular. It's football in general I have a problem with. In Texas, football is everything. Seriously, you don't know what it's like if you've never lived here. During football season it's everywhere. You can't even go to the grocery store without being inundated with football snacks. They even sell blue & gray bread to commemorate "the boys" (Dallas cowboys) - does that even sound appetizing to anyone? It dominates conversations. Nobody ever says "Dallas Cowboys" - it's always just "the boys", and everyone is just supposed know who they're talking about. It's not that I don't have any interest in football - I have negative interest in football - I'm a football anti-fan.
So, what did I do Saturday evening? My wife and I were getting caught up on Project Runway episodes that we had recorded on our DVR. I refuse to pollute my TV screen with any of that football crap.
Fast & Testimony meeting was nice. That's about all I can say about it as I didn't feel anything. I missed Sunday School as I had to run home to get something I had forgotten (which is why I was aware of the mass exodus after Sacrament meeting - there was a traffic jam in the parking lot). Priesthood meeting was OK - it was about celestial marriage. Been there, done that, got the T-shirt. What does celestial marriage even mean for a gay man? Now that's a lesson I'd like to hear in priesthood meeting.
Maybe I need a vacation - from church. I go every week - but only out of duty, not because I want to be there. People are nice and all - but none of them are what I would consider a friend. Truthfully, my closest friends are here in the queerosphere - how pathetic is that? My closest friends are people who, for the most part, have never even met me in person.
I just don't feel like I have anything common with the brethren in my ward. Face it - straight guys are boring. All they want to talk about is politics (i.e. how horrible Obama is), football, and a little golf thrown in. I may be a pathetic excuse for a human being, but at least I'm interesting - at least I think I'm interesting. Unfortunately, nobody seems to care. Maybe my lack of conformity to the typical mormon male stereotype makes me just a tad bit too odd causing people to keep their distance.
I guess I'm just feeling sorry for myself today. In the past we've always had a big BBQ on Labor Day and invited a bunch of people over. This year, due to budget constraints (being unemployed), we opted to not host a BBQ. But, nobody invited us over to their home. It's been years, literally, since anyone invited us over for dinner, games, or anything. People are more than happy to come to our house - but nobody ever reciprocates. It's the same story on Thanksgiving - if we don't invite people over for Thanksgiving dinner then we eat alone. I just feel like I have to bribe people with food to be my friend.
13 comments:
Speaking of rolling ones eyes …
Sheesh, Abelard. You may not enjoy football — but to be so patently obtuse as to why others might enjoy it seems out of character. Don't be such a wet blanket.
;P
Abe, serious cyber huuuuggggg!
Three things:
1. BIG HUG!!!
2. About football, I've been though my ups and downs over the years. I used to feel so out of it. Like I coudn't relate to other guys because of my disinterest. Then in my thirties I learned to throw a football and, strangely, that really helped me relax with the whole concept. Don't get me wrong, I'm no football fan, but I can be happy for others who are.
Football games on the TV at my in-laws or football discussions at work no longer annoy me. I was even thrilled a few years ago when Paul McCartney sang during a SuperBowl halftime. So I agree with Silus about trying to chill (or actually warm up) on the topic. He's right, it seems a bit out of character for you to be so narrow minded about something as trivial as a bunch of grown men throwing around a ball and smashing into each other so hard as to cause concussions and broken bones.
If we want straight boys and their ilk to accept our sometimes bizzarre tastes in all things artistic, perhaps we can at least try to understand their simple desires to kill each other in the name of competition. Sorry, now I've probably offended everyone with my stereotyping.
3. One more BIG HUG!!!
Three things:
1. BIG HUG!!!
2. About football, I've been though my ups and downs over the years. I used to feel so out of it. Like I coudn't relate to other guys because of my disinterest. Then in my thirties I learned to throw a football and, strangely, that really helped me relax with the whole concept. Don't get me wrong, I'm no football fan, but I can be happy for others who are.
Football games on the TV at my in-laws or football discussions at work no longer annoy me. I was even thrilled a few years ago when Paul McCartney sang during a SuperBowl halftime. So I agree with Silus about trying to chill (or actually warm up) on the topic. He's right, it seems a bit out of character for you to be so narrow minded about something as trivial as a bunch of grown men throwing around a ball and smashing into each other so hard as to cause concussions and broken bones.
If we want straight boys and their ilk to accept our sometimes bizzarre tastes in all things artistic, perhaps we can at least try to understand their simple desires to kill each other in the name of competition. Sorry, now I've probably offended everyone with my stereotyping.
3. One more BIG HUG!!!
Don't be such a wet blanket.
[hangs head down] sorry, I guess I was being a wet blanket. To any football fans I may have offended, can you accept my apology?
Like I said, I guess I'm just feeling sorry for myself today.
Just so you know, I was in marching band in high school and college; and, all of my children were in marching band in high school - so I've been to plenty of high school and college football games in my day. But, after the game, if anyone asked me who won - I probably didn't know :)
"I refuse to pollute my TV screen with any of that football crap."
Haha I LOVE it! Sounds like me at my house.
Abe, I share your repugnance. It's not so much "football" as it is their inability to converse about anything else. And when they start spouting statistics about who rushed for what, and how many yards he ran in 1969...I want to perform a frontal lobotomy on myself with a dull ice pick! (And by "they" I am not necessarily referencing straight guys but rather anyone who adopts the single-minded fan mentality.)
My solution? Just tell people flat out, "I'm not really interested in football." They usually look at me like I've admitted mental insanity but so what? At least I don't have to engage in mindless time-sucking conversations. Of course, I'm not living in Texas where football masquerades as an official religion.
And one final correction: You wrote "My closest friends are people who, for the most part, have never even met me in person." We might never have met you in the flesh, Abe, but we have most definitely met you in person. Your willingness to bare your soul to us on a regular basis has revealed you personally in ways that my football-statistics-spouting brethren in Utah have never dared to share. You rock.
Just tell people flat out, "I'm not really interested in football."
I find asking a question like "is football the one with the funny shaped ball or the big round ball? Is there a stick involved?" gets the point across without offending anyone.
There was a time when I would stand there smiling, nodding and pretending to be interested - but not any more.
Ummm... I think it's time I come out of the closet and ummm... (now don't gasp or look at me cross-eyed) admit that I actually like college football.
:)
Talking about football — or any sport — is a time-honored way of building bridges / bonding / whathaveyou with other guys. You don't have to enjoy football to enjoy the company of others. There are so many topics of conversation that I care or know little about … but there's nothing wrong with making the effort. And, to be frank, there's certainly something wrong with going out of your way to not make an effort. It's anti-social. It smacks of deeper, darker issues.
If you don't like football, suck it up — or change the subject to a related one (basketball, college sports, the doping scandals). You owe it to the person you're chatting with. If you don't like football AND you don't like the person you're chatting with, then excuse yourself.
* bristles *
Our society is fragile as it is. There's no reason to get your panties in a bunch over something so innocuous as small talk. Because, frankly, it's not small at all. It's a lubricant — and a needed one.
* climbs down from soapbox *
And you know I adore you, Abe … so please forgive my unvarnished opinion.
Beck, what a hoot! I love high school and college football, and by necessity high school soccer. The only other time I get into sports is the when it's a championship game. Couldn't tell you who won a week later though!
Silus, I understand what you are saying, but shouldn't others extend to me that same courtesy - rather than changing the subject or just walking off whenever I try to talk about something that interests me?
Like I said, if you've never lived in Texas then you don't know what it's like. In Texas - Football is a religion. And, if you're not a fan then you are unworthy.
I didn't used to be a football anti-fan. Living in Texas for 25 years did it to me. Don't get me wrong - I love Texas. Just not that part of Texas culture.
You said it: it's a part of the culture. Expecting people to accommodate you in their culture will only bring you grief. Sure, an exceptional person will accommodate a foreigner. But why be a foreigner? Reach out to your countrymen.
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