Why I support gay marriage

I'm not going to rag on the LDS church, or anyone else, for opposing gay marriage. I am simply stating that I personally support it.

I didn't always support gay marriage. In fact, there was a time, in the not too distant past, when I was dead set against it. Although, I've never been totally against granting civil rights to same sex couples; but, it's only been within the last year or so that I actually came down in support of same sex marriage. Prior to that I felt that civil unions were OK - but I objected to calling it 'marriage' and using terms like 'husband' and 'wife'. I felt that we should preserve the historical significance of those words and come up with new terms for same sex couples.

My epiphany came when I actually met some same sex couples here in the queerosphere and realized that the love they have for each other is just as valid as the love between a husband and wife. I came to realize that while civil unions can have many of the same legal rights and benefits as marriage, such as shared property - a civil union doesn't have equal rights and benefits as marriage, such as visitation, residency, etc.

I suppose laws could be written such that civil unions do have equal rights and benefits as marriage - but if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck - then it's a duck. A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.

I do not take this position lightly. I am very much aware that it puts me in direct opposition to the teachings and practices of my church. So, while I do support same sex marriage, I also believe that churches should have the right to define marriage among their own constituents as they see fit.

However, I feel that it is wrong for any group or religion to impose their moral values on the masses. This is why I do not support prayer or the teaching of creationism in our public schools - these teachings belong in our homes and churches, not in our public schools. One only need look towards the middle east to see the dark side of not separating church and state.

Likewise, I feel it is wrong for any group or religion to impose their view of marriage being between one man and one woman upon the general society. They are certainly free to believe as they will. But, when they try to impose their beliefs and moral code onto others - especially unwilling participants - well, let's just say I have a difficult time believing that is God's will.

So, that is where I stand. Regardless of the outcome of proposition 8 in California - or any other related legislation now or in the future - I believe there is enough room in our society for marriages with a husband and a wife along side of marriages with two husbands or two wives. You can praise me for my tolerance and acceptance. You can condemn me for allowing myself to be mislead by the craftiness of the devil. But, in the end, it won't change a thing. Me, myself, I personally support gay marriage. I respect those who disagree with me, and I only ask in return that you respect my personal beliefs.


Wednesday, October 29th, 2008 is Write to Marry Day. To participate, post on your own blog against Prop 8 on or before October 29, 2008, then submit the link to your post by completing the form here.