Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Why I support gay marriage

I'm not going to rag on the LDS church, or anyone else, for opposing gay marriage. I am simply stating that I personally support it.

I didn't always support gay marriage. In fact, there was a time, in the not too distant past, when I was dead set against it. Although, I've never been totally against granting civil rights to same sex couples; but, it's only been within the last year or so that I actually came down in support of same sex marriage. Prior to that I felt that civil unions were OK - but I objected to calling it 'marriage' and using terms like 'husband' and 'wife'. I felt that we should preserve the historical significance of those words and come up with new terms for same sex couples.

My epiphany came when I actually met some same sex couples here in the queerosphere and realized that the love they have for each other is just as valid as the love between a husband and wife. I came to realize that while civil unions can have many of the same legal rights and benefits as marriage, such as shared property - a civil union doesn't have equal rights and benefits as marriage, such as visitation, residency, etc.

I suppose laws could be written such that civil unions do have equal rights and benefits as marriage - but if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck - then it's a duck. A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.

I do not take this position lightly. I am very much aware that it puts me in direct opposition to the teachings and practices of my church. So, while I do support same sex marriage, I also believe that churches should have the right to define marriage among their own constituents as they see fit.

However, I feel that it is wrong for any group or religion to impose their moral values on the masses. This is why I do not support prayer or the teaching of creationism in our public schools - these teachings belong in our homes and churches, not in our public schools. One only need look towards the middle east to see the dark side of not separating church and state.

Likewise, I feel it is wrong for any group or religion to impose their view of marriage being between one man and one woman upon the general society. They are certainly free to believe as they will. But, when they try to impose their beliefs and moral code onto others - especially unwilling participants - well, let's just say I have a difficult time believing that is God's will.

So, that is where I stand. Regardless of the outcome of proposition 8 in California - or any other related legislation now or in the future - I believe there is enough room in our society for marriages with a husband and a wife along side of marriages with two husbands or two wives. You can praise me for my tolerance and acceptance. You can condemn me for allowing myself to be mislead by the craftiness of the devil. But, in the end, it won't change a thing. Me, myself, I personally support gay marriage. I respect those who disagree with me, and I only ask in return that you respect my personal beliefs.

Wednesday, October 29th, 2008 is Write to Marry Day. To participate, post on your own blog against Prop 8 on or before October 29, 2008, then submit the link to your post by completing the form here.


Зеркало / The Mirror said...

I hope one day I could have a family and be able to wake up next to someone I love every morning and grow old with them. The only thing making me feel guilty about that is the Church. I just can't give it up - but I know what I want deep down. I wish I could find a happy medium. Very nice blog.

Beck said...

For someone who admitted ( and even proved it graphically) that he was THE most conservatively leaning MOHO in the community, this is sweet, with echos coming from a fellow conservatively leaning MOHO feeling the same way.

I voted early yesterday. Too bad Prop 8 wasn't on the ballot here. It was on the ballot a couple of years ago, and though it was a foregone conclusion that in Utah the Marriage-Initiative would pass, I voted against it with conviction just the same.

Thank you for your declaration!

Abelard Enigma said...

The only thing making me feel guilty about that is the Church. I just can't give it up

Talk about an inconvenient truth. btw, welcome (again) to the queerosphere.

For someone who admitted ... that he was THE most conservatively leaning MOHO in the community

What can I say? I'm a flaming red state conservative.

btw, this doesn't mean I'm voting for Obama! People have been trying to cast Obama as the more gay friendly candidate when, in reality, McCain's and Obama's position on gay rights is really pretty much equal.

To cast McCain as anti-gay simply because he is a republican is profiling - and isn't profiling supposed to be bad?

MoHoHawaii said...

Congratulations. History will be on our side with this one.

On the McCain/Obama issue, let me just point out that McCain supports Prop. 8 while Obama has come out against it. McCain supports the ban on gay soldiers; Obama wants to lift this ban. McCain supports DOMA which forbids the Federal government from recognizing gay unions in any way. Obama is for full repeal of DOMA. These are significant policy differences. And let's not even get started on what Governor Palin proposes. :-)

robert said...

In the words of you fine Mormon fellows, "Amen and Amen.."

Alan said...

VERY sweet family pic. As good an argument against Prop 8 as I've seen in a thousand words anywhere.

Amanda said...

I agree with Alan, that's a wonderful picture.

It's very rare that I've come upon a die-hard republican (as you seem to say you are in your comment) who is pro-gay marriage, and I think that's why so much profiling goes on (wrong or not). I do agree there are differences between McCain and Obama regarding same-sex marriage, and I disappointed that Obama and Biden have both come out and said they would not support modifying the legal definition of marriage to include gay couples. I suppose, however, no matter what a candidate really believes, they have to stick to certain lines in order to be elected. How sad that that's the case.

Thanks for posting this, it was quite enjoyable.

Mariah and Byron Edgington said...

Great blog.

Scot said...

"I agree with Alan, that's a wonderful picture."

It made me think about having more kids :-).

Thank you Abe. I wish the font could carry the tone of the voice I feel when I say it, but thank you from my family.