- mid 30's and never married [ping]
- fit, looks like he works out regularly [ping]
- not at all interested in sports [ping]
- was a theater major in college [ping]
- good looking [ok, that's just a bonus :)]
I'm not really quite sure what to make of this - this is a new experience for me. There have been other situations where my shyness has kept me quiet about my religious affiliation - but this is different. Not that I'm one to tell people about my Mormon-ness at every opportunity. But, it often comes out in regular conversation - such as not drinking coffee, or or my experiences working with teenage youth at church, or my wife and daughter being BYU alumni and a son currently attending BYU-Idaho.
It's not that I'm afraid to let him know, I don't want him to know - I don't want him to think less of me.
A year or so ago - before the LDS church got involved in proposition 8 - I don't think I would have felt this way. In fact, I know I wouldn't. A member of the, now defunct, photography club I once belonged to is openly gay. We met before all of that proposition 8 brouhaha - and I was very open with him about my religious affiliation. Although, I haven't been open with him about my sexuality - which I feel kinda bad about. As far as I know, he still doesn't know about me being gay - even though we still meet up once in a while for lunch to talk photography.
Again, it's that affiliation thing - I can be Mormon, and I can be gay, but I can't be both at the same time. Think about it. I have one, presumably, gay guy whom I'm embarrassed to let him know I'm Mormon - and I have another openly gay guy who knows I'm Mormon but who I'm embarrassed to let him know I'm gay. I just can't mix the two - it's like oil and water. Being gay and Mormon is an enigma.
Here I am thinking I've made tremendous progress - overcoming the shame of being homosexual and accepting myself as a gay man. And then this - maybe I haven't progressed as much as I had hoped.