Sunday, July 12, 2009

Inappropriate conduct

Reading about the brouhaha regarding the incident at the Plaza in SLC owned by the LDS church and a gay couple caused me to recall something that happened once on my mission.

My companion at the time liked to kid around. One night, we were walking home at the end of the day. It was dark; so, he reached over and took my hand in his. I'm sure his intent was to freak me out - but it didn't! We walked hand in hand for probably a minute or two before he pulled his hand away. We both laughed saying something to the effect that he thought he was going to freak me out - but instead I turned it around and freaked him out.

But the truth is - I didn't flinch or pull away ... because I kinda liked it.

I have wondered what would happen if a gay couple came to a church service and held hands - I guess I have my answer. But, I am curious - where is it written that people with same sex attraction are not to have any public displays of affection with a member of their own gender? Is that what the pamphlet God Loveth His Children means where it says
It is not helpful to flaunt homosexual tendencies or make them the subject of unnecessary observation or discussion.
Or, perhaps where it says
It is better to choose as friends those who do not publicly display their homosexual feelings.
These two statements (among others) in "God Loveth His Children" have always bothered me because they are so vague and subject to a very broad interpretation.


Good to be Free said...

"I have wondered what would happen if a gay couple came to a church service and held hands - I guess I have my answer." I said these exact words, nearly verbatim to my wife last night.

Someone pointed out to me that the current policy of the church is Don't ask Don't Tell. You can be gay, just don't make me think about it. Is this progress?

UTMOHO said...

I have wondered that many times too. I have gone to church with my friend who is also gay we have dated each other too so there is something there other than friendship and I scratched his back during sacrament just like many people do to their spouses well while I was doing it I wondered what others thought got scared and stopped. Did others even pay attention. Yes we are both gay but not one person in the building other than us knew that. So I was showing affection towards him in a way I feel was very appropriate and no one should freak out. IDK Just my thought

Grant Haws said...

It boggles my mind that the Law of Chastity involves kisses and hand-holding if you're gay...but if you're straight all that is involved is "the deed".

When the church says not to flaunt our homosexuality I think that is a real tragedy. I grew up thinking I was the only one in the church that was gay...but I think the experience of growing up gay in the church would be so much healthier if you were allowed to know someone else, just like you, existed, rather than feeling utterly alone.

It also creates a powerful shaming element that starts to embody not just your attractions, but who you are as a person. Needless to say, I 'm not much of a fan of the "God Loveth His Children" pamphlet.

Captain Midnight said...

I'm not a fan of "God Loveth His Children" either. I think a lot of things in that pamphlet do more harm than good.

Grant Haws said...

My dad mailed it to me the night I came out to him, and I know he didn't mean any harm by it, but that ten page pamphlet infuriates me. It's the sort of Church propaganda that does more harm than good and leaves you feeling straight-up lied to. God may love his children, but his church sure don't.

Philip said...


Posting this here instead of in your previous post "In or Out?" because so much time has past.

I blogged about coming out at work. I think some of that information might be helpful to you.


Ezra said...

@UTMOHO -- as a boy going to church in Maine, my brother and I always scratched each others backs and put arms around each other--but granted, we were brothers.