Friday, August 10, 2007

Another awkward moment

I was sitting at the kitchen table this morning, eating my cereal, reading the newspaper and minding my own business; when my wife walked in and asked me if I liked the movie we watched last night. We want to go see The Bourne Ultimatum; but, we decided we should first watch The Bourne Identity (which I hadn't seen before) and The Bourne Supremacy (which neither of us has seen). So, last night, we watched The Bourne Identity on DVD.

In between chews, I mumbled that yes, I did like the movie. Then she asked "do you think Matt Damon is cute?"

I stopped eating, I looked her straight in the eye and said "that's an awkward question" and then resumed eating my bowl of cereal.

She replied "yeah, I know" ... "but do you?" I just looked at her sheepishly. She then smiled and said "I got the answer to my question" and left the room.

How am I supposed to respond to questions like that? Somebody, please help me out here. I have 3 sisters, I've been married to a girl for 27 years, I have raised 2 daughters - and the only conclusion I'm able to come up with is that girls are weird! They are a mystery that continues to elude me.

I mean, how would she react if I said "oh baby, get me some ice, because he is dang hot!"? OK, maybe that was a little over the top. But, he is most definitely eye candy. However, when asked questions like that, I feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place.

So, yes. Matt Damon is cute. In fact, I might even go so far as to say Matt Damon is hot! Satisfied???


GeckoMan said...

Recall that Jesus often answered awkward questions with a question himself. So maybe you could say, "Well dear, do YOU think he's cute?"

Okay, so there are lots of cute guys out there. Yes, ample cause for admiration; but that doesn't mean such beauty needs to complicate our most vital relationships.

"Do you love me?
Do I what?
Do you love me?
Do I love you?
With our daughters getting married, and this trouble in the town, you're upset, you're worn out, go inside, go lie down! Maybe it's indigestion.
Ah, no, Golde, I'm asking you a question. Do you love me?
You're a fool.
I know. But do you love me?
Do I love you?
For 25 years, I've washed your clothes, cooked your meals, cleaned your house, given you children, milked your cow--after 25 years, why talk about love right now?
Golde. The first time I met you was on our wedding day - I was scared, I was shy, I was nervous!
So was I!
But my father and my mother said we'd learn to love each other, and now I'm asking, Golde, do you love me?
I'm your wife.
I know. But do you love me?
Do I love him?
For 25 years, I've lived with him, fought with him, starved with him. Twenty five years, my bed is his - If that's not love, what is?
Then you love me?
I suppose I do.
And I suppose I love you, too.
It doesn't change a thing, but even so. . . After 25 years, it's nice to know!"

Abelard Enigma said...

I appreciate the suggestion. Although, I'm certainly not in the same league as Jesus. And, I suspect he didn't have to contend with responses like "I asked you first"

But, I agree that my admiration of the male form should not (and does not) interfere with the relationship I have with my wife. Those are two sides of me that I strive diligently to keep separate. They are like oil and water, they should not mix. So, when asked questions like that, it just mixes things up and confuses me. You may recall that my daughter asked a similar question a couple of weeks ago. What am I? the "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy"?

Like I said: Girls are weird!

playasinmar said...

What am I? the "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy"?

No, you're "Queer Eye for the Straight Wife."

salad said...

girls are poor, poor man

Abelard Enigma said...

Queer Eye for the Straight Wife


(maybe I'll ask her if that is what I am the next time she asks a question like that :)

you poor, poor man

I am a poor, poor, man. My condolences [ahem] congratulations to Drex :)

Kengo Biddles said...

And then there's me who would answer that and say, "Who doesn't think he's cute? I mean, really!"

-L- said...

Well, me for one. Not my type, I guess.

But, I hear what you're saying with this post. We'll have exchanges similar to that every so often. It's nice that they're not awkward anymore. But I'm still kind of conservative in that I'd rather not talk up anyone's hotness except my wife. Even though I'm pretty sure it's easy to tell when I'm staring...

J G-W said...

I wonder, do straight men's wives ask them if they're turned on by Pamela Lee Anderson?

Goran and I used to ogle cute guys together and comment on it all the time. I prefer not to lately, not because it's necessarily immoral, but because I prefer not to let my thoughts run into that rut these days...

But that's just me...

J G-W said...

Ya know, probably all she wanted was some assurance that she's still number one in your life, regardless of who you find attractive.

Maybe a simple, "Yeah, I think he's cute. But he couldn't make me nearly as happy as you do." Or something similar.

Goran actually used to ask me something similar. When we saw some steaming hot young guy, he'd ask something like, "Would you dump me for him?" I'd say something like, "I'd only go to bed with him if you were in the middle." We'd laugh about it, and move on.

Everybody likes to be reassured that they're still number one, even when there are younger, juicier catches out there. (Of which, the number is always rising as we get up there in years.)