My daughter, who is visiting from California, was invited to go to a water park Saturday with some friends. She invited me to come along to take pictures of her daughter.
I just didn't think going to a water park with a camera was a good idea for me right now in my current state. A gay guy going through pon farr, a camera with a telephoto zoom lens, and a water park just isn't a good combination. It might be difficult keeping my camera focused on my granddaughter :(
It's like these gay feelings come in waves. Sometimes they are small waves that I barely notice. Other times they are much bigger but I'm still able to keep in control. And, every once in a while, I feel like I've been hit with a tsunami - which is what I've been experiencing lately.
My wife asked me again if everything is OK. And, I lied again and said I was just peachy. She obviously knows I'm lying.
I went to bed before she did. When she came to bed I pretended to be asleep. I was on the very edge of the bed because I was afraid she would brush against me. I don't know why - it wasn't anything about her in particular, it was her gender - I just didn't want to be touched by a girl.
I hate this!!!
On a more positive note, I haven't given in to temptation, I haven't done anything I've regretted; and, I think it is actually getting better. Last night I didn't have the erotic dreams like I've been having. Church yesterday was good. So, maybe I'm starting to snap out of this.
In the past when I've been like this, I would usually lapse into depression. This time, other than feeling frustrated, I've been, for the most part, OK. I guess your prayers have been working - thank you.
Does this happen to other people??? Or am I just an over sexed psychotic lunatic or something?
Live long and prosper - and may your pon farr be far far away.