Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Alien visitors in Texas

I didn't realize this had made the national news until I heard Bill O'Reilly talking about it on Fox. So, just in case you hadn't heard: Apparently, some alien visitors from another planet came to visit Stephenville, Texas. The local media is all abuzz with lots of people offering up a plethora of theories and opinions. The Mutual UFO Network (MUFON) said that they normally only send 1 person to investigate such reports; but, this is big! So, they sent out a whole team of investigators.

But, I have my own thoughts on this ...

First of all, Stephenville is very close to Dublin (Texas, not Ireland). Dublin is where MUFON has been meeting with eye witnesses while doing their investigation. What most of the nation (indeed, the world) may not realize is that Dublin is also home to one of the original Dr. Pepper bottling plants - and the only one still in operation. The Dublin bottling plant still uses the original recipe for Dr. Pepper (with cane sugar rather than corn syrup); and, people come from miles around to pickup a case of Dublin Dr. Pepper (I'm not joking). So, one of my theories is that these aliens are Dr. Pepper aficionado's.

My other theory is that they are one of the lost tribes and were looking for the Dallas temple. Why Dallas? Well, downtown Salt Lake is pretty crowded; and we have all them wide open spaces for parking space ships and such. Now, they were about 100 miles off - which makes them look like dumb aliens. But, think about it - when you are coming from a gazillion miles away, to get within 100 miles is pretty gosh darned accurate!

Now, these two theories are not necessarily mutually exclusive. Perhaps the aliens intended to stop and get some Dublin Dr. Pepper on their way to Dallas; and, they were so excited to find it that, in their dancing around, one of them accidentally bumped into the switch and turned off their cloaking device. (OK, so maybe some of them are dumb)

Hmmm, hmmm, something to think about ...

I wonder of Torchwood will come to Texas to investigate? I wouldn't mind giving a deposition to Captain Jack Harkness [sigh]. (Even if you are straight, you gotta admit that he is one fine looking man!)

Oh, and just in case anybody was getting worried, Endtime magazine (a sort of US News and End of the World Report) said that they do not think this is a sign the the end is immanent because UFO's are not mentioned in the bible. BTW, even though the editors of Endtime do believe the end of the world is soon, they will still sell you a six year subscription. So, all of you bois at BYU should still have time to finish your education.

Don't forget to vote in my gay marriage poll, if you haven't done so already.

6 comments:

Scott said...

Abe,

Captain Jack is bi-sexual (as evidenced in the 2 same sex kisses last season) and the actor who plays him (John Barrowman) is gay.

Abelard Enigma said...

Actually, Captain Jack is omni sexual. He'll do it with a man, woman, alien, or whatever. Ianto is bisexual - I guess, he loves Jack and robot women.

And now with Spike from Buffy (James Marsters) coming to Torchwood - oh man.

Sneakers in Sacrament said...

The first picture in this posting, the guy with the eyes, is going to give me nightmares.

Abelard Enigma said...

That's one of them aliens that's been seen hanging around Stephenville, Texas :)

BTW, the Army admitted yesterday to having F-16's in training exercises around Stephenville on the date in question. A representative from MUFON responded that the Army's confession only collaborates the eye witness testimonies they are getting and that it's going to take months for them to finish up their investigation.

Folks, you just can't make this stuff up!

Parallel Mormon said...

Abelard,

I'm worried where this issue on gay marriage might be taking you. Quite a few of us SSA guys can fall into the trap of gaining a testimony that homosexuality is the true church. I just worry when my fellow MoHo brethren start getting too cozy with the naturalness of the natural man.

BTW, I too am having a ball watching the whole UFO thing develop in Texas. Though not quite convinced of aliens myself, I do find it interesting.

Parallel Mormon said...

Jon,

Sounds good to me! I'm not comfortable with marriage being extended to our gay brethren/sisters, but I don't believe it can or even possibly could undermine the institution--heterosexuals are doing a fine job of that. Likewise, I see the good that could come from injecting more values into the community.

It's a tough call. If asked to vote on that issue and that issue alone, I'd vote against it out of principle, but I can see the potential for some good to come out of gay marriage if it were ever to pass.

J