I'm feeling a little down today - and I'm wondering, is the world better off with me, or without me? Or does it even matter?
Don't nobody get excited - I'm not contemplating any changes in my mode of existence. I guess I, sometimes, get a little philosophical when I'm feeling down.
In high school, when I felt this way, I would to listen to the soundtrack Jonathan Livingston Seagull by Neil Diamond. Jonathan Livingston Seagull's unwillingness to conform to social moirés resulted in being banished from the flock - is there a gay allegory here? Eventually, he moves into a higher plane of existence - is being gay a different plane of existence? Gee, I wonder if I still have those cassettes. Oh wait, I don't have a cassette player anymore. Is it worth buying the CD? Would I listen to it? Maybe I should put the movie on my Netflicks queue.
On a completely unrelated topic, this is my 169th published blog entry. I have 49 blog entries sitting in draft state of which few, if any, will ever see the light of day. So, nearly 1 out of every 4 blog entries I write never get published. I wonder how this compares to other bloggers in the Mormon queerosphere?
I have 40 emails sitting in my Drafts folder, most of which will never get sent - what does this say about me? Am I afraid to send them? Why do I keep them?