Friday, January 11, 2008


I'm feeling a little down today - and I'm wondering, is the world better off with me, or without me? Or does it even matter?

Don't nobody get excited - I'm not contemplating any changes in my mode of existence. I guess I, sometimes, get a little philosophical when I'm feeling down.

In high school, when I felt this way, I would to listen to the soundtrack Jonathan Livingston Seagull by Neil Diamond. Jonathan Livingston Seagull's unwillingness to conform to social moirés resulted in being banished from the flock - is there a gay allegory here? Eventually, he moves into a higher plane of existence - is being gay a different plane of existence? Gee, I wonder if I still have those cassettes. Oh wait, I don't have a cassette player anymore. Is it worth buying the CD? Would I listen to it? Maybe I should put the movie on my Netflicks queue.

On a completely unrelated topic, this is my 169th published blog entry. I have 49 blog entries sitting in draft state of which few, if any, will ever see the light of day. So, nearly 1 out of every 4 blog entries I write never get published. I wonder how this compares to other bloggers in the Mormon queerosphere?

I have 40 emails sitting in my Drafts folder, most of which will never get sent - what does this say about me? Am I afraid to send them? Why do I keep them?


draco said...

Johnathan is one of my heroes :)
I don't think that being gay is a different plane of existence, but I do think that being authentic- living what you believe- and thinking for yourself is.

Sean said...

I don't think anyone lives in a different plain of existence except for those who chose not to follow God in their premortal life. Other than that, I think we all live in the same plain of existence. That includes Christ, prophets, the bum down the street, and of course all of the MoHos. We all have our own struggles, but we are all essentially living here on earth the best way that we can.

Don't worry about drafts. I have a lot of them too. Some I'm afraid to publish because I don't want to start a war again, so I don't. I, however, do not write emails unless I intend to send them.

Remember that you can always send me emails because I LOVE (I have yet to figure out how to put things in bold, italics, etc.) getting emails from you!

Love you tons!


Beck said...

Here's a head-slap to get you out of your melancholy funk.... SLAP! :)

Here's another one for all those emails you didn't send me... SLAP! :)

One of So Many said...

Abelard, You are the Central Pillar of the MOHO community. You keep track of all the blogs out there and do A LOT of posting.

It's like you find the lost sheep and bring them back into the herd...of sorts.

You Rock Man! Keep up the good work.