First visit with the new shrink

I met with my new shrink this morning. His approach is very different than my previous therapist. Although, I need to think about it a bit more before I decide if that's good or bad.

Turns out he has been in Germany the past two months doing counseling at a US military base. He is also in a brand new office (which is actually an old house) - and I was his very first patient in the new office and since returning back to the US. So, things were a bit disorganized which he kept apologizing about throughout the session.

Most of the session was spent with him asking me a lot of questions getting background information. He told me that, generally, his first two sessions with a person are this way and that next time he'll be asking me a lot of questions related to my family history. After that, the sessions become more 'process oriented' - although, I'm not really sure I understand what that means.

During the questioning, I explained how I ended years of denial and admitted to myself that I am gay in the Fall of 2006 and then told my wife a couple of months later; but, I was not interested in pursuing a same sex relationship and that I wanted to remain in my marriage and active in my church. He asked me about the Mormon church's view regarding homosexuality. I explained that the church separates attraction and behavior - that there is no sin in being attracted to your same gender, there is only sin in acting on those attractions. Although, later in the session I explained my fears of coming out and not be accepted by other members of the church even though I haven't done anything.

At the end of the session, he said that it is a difficult paradox I am faced with; but, that he feels strongly that it is something I can learn to live with and accept. He then gave me 6 things to consider doing this week. He emphasized that they were not assignments, just things to consider doing, but that I didn't have to do any of them.

1. Create a timeline of significant events in my life (both positive and negative) and rate their significance
2. Track and chart negative thoughts
3. Read "Feeling Good" by David Burns
4. Check out the web site for Toastmasters
5. Read "Iron John" by Robert Bly
6. Do a "Day in the Life" exercise

• The timeline is a tool to promote discussions on significant events in my life and how they might have affected how I am today
  

• Tracking and charting negative thoughts is to promote discussion on what sort of self deprecating thoughts I have, if they are rational, etc.
  

• "Feeling Good" is a book on cognitive therapy
  

• Toastmasters resulted from me telling him that I felt I had difficulty relating with other people. He thought that might be something to consider
  

• The book "Iron John" analyzes a Grimm's fairy tale by the same name to find lessons especially meaningful to men. It is, evidently, the book which spurred the mens movement. (according to wikipedia)

• The "Day in the Life" exercise is where I'm supposed to imagine that a miracle occurred and I woke up tomorrow morning and everything about my life was just the way I wanted it; then, I'm supposed to describe how my day goes.

So far, I think I'm impressed; although, I'm sure I'll have a more firm opinion after I've had a chance to sleep on it and think about it some more. I made an appointment for next Tuesday. I figure I'll give him, at least, two sessions before I decide if I will continue or move on looking for the next shrink.