Friday, April 6, 2007

An Easter message

As it turns out, April is my month to conduct Sacrament meeting. As such, it is also my month to write the monthly Bishopric message. So, I thought I would take a break from being gay and share my Easter message with my MoHo friends. (...and anyone else who might be reading this blog)

Sorry, I deleted my Easter message because -L- brought up a good point in his comment. Someone who knows me could potentially recognize it and unmask me.

It's unfortunate that I have to play these games. Such is the plight of a gay Mormon, especially one who must remain in the closet.

I know my spiritual side doesn't always come through very strong in my blog - simply because that isn't what I focus on in my blog. But, I do have a testimony of the atonement. I don't fully grasp what it all means - but I know the Savior loves me, that he suffered and died for me. I also know that I am not worthy of his atoning sacrifice, that I fall short in many ways. But, I also believe that this is not a race - we shouldn't compare ourselves to others. For me, the important thing is: Am I a better person today than I was yesterday? Am I a better person this week than I was last week, or this month or this year.


And, besides, I was "Saved" in a protestant church before I joined the Mormon church, so I'm covered either way :-)

(sorry, sometimes I just can't resist these feeble attempts at humor. You should hear some of the things I try when I'm conducting Sacrament meeting - most of which fall flat on their face)

And maybe, just maybe, I can make it through Sacrament meeting without screwing up somehow. So far I've:

  • Forgotten to do the Sacrament (twice)
  • Worn mismatching pants and coat
  • Forgotten to acknowledge stake visitors
  • Forgotten to do callings and releases
  • Forgotten to read in the names of new move-in's
And, the last time I conducted (which was March 25th since we switch who conducts on Fast Sunday) ...
  • I stood up at the pulpit, announced the opening hymn. And, as I was just about to announce who would be giving our opening prayer - I realized that we hadn't asked anyone. In desperation, I turned around to face the Bishop, and he pointed to the 2nd counselor.

Now, in my defense, normally our Executive Secretary finds people to say the prayers, and he was out sick that day. But, I still take full responsibility for not making sure we were ready before starting the meeting.

Easter Sunday should be a good Sacrament meeting in our ward. Our choir is putting on an Easter program. The primary children will be singing. And, I asked our Gospel Doctrine instructor to be the closing speaker and give his thoughts on the Atonement. He is a very good speaker - I'm looking forward to hearing what he has to say.

Plus, my son is bringing his non-member wife to church, and my daughter is bringing her non-member boyfriend. So, life is good!


Kengo Biddles said...

If you're ever missing someone to say the prayer you can always invite from the pulpit. That's _always_ fun...or you can just ask me to do ward's averaging about once every other week, if not several times on the same sunday...

Mormon Enigma said...

you can always invite from the pulpit

I don't know if I'm that brave. Perhaps in Priesthood opening exercises, which is more laid back.

playasinmar said...

Once, when I was younger, the Stake President was conducting because he was going to announce a new bishop. After he read off the ward business he paused, shuffled his papers, and turning backward slightly said aloud, "So now we have a hymn or what?"

Beck said...

"taking a break from being gay"...

I kind of laughed when I read that. Do you ever take a break from it? :)

As for inviting from the pulpit, when I was in a bishopric, I'd often forget to call on people to pray in advance and so I'd search the audience as I'd get up to announce the hymn and then a name and / or face would pop in my mind and I would just say "And Brother Jensen will offer the invocation". I'd smile directly at Brother Jensen and wait for an acknowledgement of agreement before going to "choice number two". It usually worked fine, and it usually was "inspired" as people would comment to me after the meeting - but one time I asked a certain sister to pray - and she said "no!" from her seat in the congregation... From then on, I started arranging for prayers in advance! :)

Thanks for your testimony and feelings on the atonement. Happy Easter, my friend!

Mormon Enigma said...

but one time I asked a certain sister to pray - and she said "no!"

I've seen that happen and it's just really awkward for everyone. I felt awkward - and I was just a member of the congregation at the time.

Mormon Enigma said...

Thanks for your testimony and feelings on the atonement.

Think of the really spiritual people you've known - and that's not me. I've never been, what some would consider, a very spiritual person. But, I do have a testimony. I will admit that it wavered a bit a few months ago when I was going through my "you're gay! get over it" phase. But, I'm over that and now my testimony is just as strong as ever.

I'm more of the trustworthy and faithful type (kind of how you might describe your family dog).

drex said...

What a fantastic aside! I honestly have been so caught up in school, work, social life, and everything else life has been throwing my way that I have hardly noticed that Easter is even approaching - and now it's only a couple of days away! I've even been oblivious to the Easter-based marketing ploys. So it was very nice to have a few minutes to sit down and read blogs before I ran off to class, and to come across a testimony-filled entry that reminded me of why this season is so fantastic. Thanks.

Mormon Enigma said...

I honestly have been so caught up in school...

Ah, those were the days...

Do I miss it? Not on your life!

Lots of fond memories, but I wouldn't want to do it over again.

drex said...

Yeah, boo school. It's a necessary evil, and luckily I enjoy learning. Don't so much enjoy the testing and the papers. Such as the one that kept me up all night and relegated me to less than 2 hours of sleep. *sigh*

-L- said...

I don't want to be a parade rainer, but I just want to point out that people may actually recognize your message. I know of multiple folks who have been identified with their blogs bizarrely by people in their ward, so I just wanted to give you that for consideration.

Samantha said...

Ugh!!! -L- you spoiled everything!! Now I missed the Easter message. Any chance I can get you to email it to me, ME? I'd really love to read it.