Tuesday, April 17, 2007

The other Manly Men

AtP made reference in a recent post about gay clothes which resulted in an irreverent discussion of gay clothes in the comments. Many of the comments were quite funny (if you ask me). One person lamented that gay clothes don't come in his size. To this I responded:
That's the beauty of being gay - you can go take a sewing class and learn to make your own gay clothes, and they will look fabulous!

Us gay guys are so confident in our manliness that we can do girlie things without shame.

(Another funny comment, if I do say so myself). I added this comment in jest, of course. But, later I got to thinking about the last part and started to wonder if, perhaps, maybe there is hidden truth buried in those words.

I mean, take drag queens for example (a topic of another of AtP's posts, what goes through that kids head anyway?). It takes a lot of moxie to go out in public like that. I don't think I could do it. For a closeted gay like me, I spend a great deal of effort trying to appear straight when out in public. However, I have to respect those who are totally open, confident, and unashamed in their gayness.

Drag queens may be an extreme example. But, there are other things as well. For example, I used to be embarrassed when people learned that I'm not into sports (something which I've gotten over, I'm thankful to say). So many of us just try to fit in and not do anything to call attention to ourselves. There are certain things that our society has dictated to be girls only; so, people take notice when they see a guy doing these things, like scrapbooking.

And that has gotten me to thinking - are these the real men in our society? Anyone can act macho. (belch, fart, crush soda cans on their forehead, yada, yada, yada). It takes a lot of courage to act gay (whatever 'acting gay' means).

BTW, does anybody know what happened to Foxx? His blog is getting a 404 error, and the domain he was hosted on has been suspended


Foxx said...

Thanks for your concern. Another user on my domain had some sensitive information that has been flagged as potential identity fraud and has therefore been suspended. I hope to get it back soon...and I hope my stuff hasn't been deleted in the mean time.

Should all else fail, I'll start anew or use my blogspot one, but for now I'm waiting it out.

Beck said...

I'm having a hard time relating with anything you're saying here... I know you're being purposefully stereotypical to make a point - but I read it as if you're saying that one has to be either straight "manly" (belching, sloppy slob) or "gay" (fashion-conscious, sewing-expert, willing to do scrapbooking).

What is one to do if one can't relate at all to either of these options?

Mormon Enigma said...

I'm glad everything is OK with you. I'll have to admit I was concerned that you disappeared so suddenly and without any warnings that something was amiss

Don't try to read too much into my post. And, don't take it too seriously. My point (if there is one) is that we should just try to be ourselves and not worry about what other people think. I certainly don't fit either of those stereotypical extremes either. But, sometimes I think I worry too much about what others think of me.

playasinmar said...

I'm pretty sure drag queens, like actual queens, fart.

MoHoHawaii said...

Drag is becoming less popular among gay men (with the exception of Halloween, but that doesn't really count). The younger generation just isn't into it. I'm happy to see it go. It's a relic of tougher times.

Many gay men do have some stereotypically feminine traits. The fact that this is such a big deal says a lot about how we regard women. For shame!

Although I pass easily as straight, I have some aspects of personality that are more often associated with women. I like having these traits. They make me a better parent, a better friend and a better leader.

Chris said...

One of the funnest nights out I've ever had in my life was at a place in the West Village here in New York called LIPS. All of the wait staff are drag queens and they perform and it was fabulous! Maybe the younger generation isn't into it as much anymore, but I think it is a fun part of gay life.

I used to be very concerned with appearing to be straight. It's really quite liberating to not give a hoot.

Mormon Enigma said...

I used to be very concerned with appearing to be straight. It's really quite liberating to not give a hoot.

You the man!!!

I just wish I had the guts to do it more. Although, I am making progress. Now, when people start talking to me about sports, I give them a blank look, and then ask "is that the game with the big round ball, or the funny shaped ball?". It gets my point across in a non-offending manner. They usually smile, say something like "I guess you're not into sports", and then move on to some other topic (or, just move on)

Chris said...

When people start talking about sports with me, I just nod and say, "Plus, the guys are really hot."


MoHoHawaii said...


I think drag can be fun to watch, too. I laughed until my sides hurt when I saw a drag performance of Eugene O'Neill's Mourning Becomes Electra a few years back.

I'm also for sissies. I like them and think people should be much nicer than they are to them.