Monday, May 7, 2007

Abelard and Heloise Enigma

A month or so ago, I made the grave error of referring to my spouse as wifie. In the ensuing comments, Samantha, the Queen of the Queerosphere correctly pointed out that the use of wifie was demeaning. And, after conferring with the amazing AtP, she bestowed upon me and my wife the names Abelard and Heloise Enigma.

I immediately started using Heloise to refer to my wife (so as to not anger the queen). However, I only recently accepted the name Abelard for myself during my recent blog makeover (considering that a name like Bud or Billy Jo Bob would be more befitting my simple nature). A discussion ensued over my new name in comments section of a recent blog entry. I was aware that there was, apparently, a rather unseemly and messy end to love affair between Abelard and Heloise; although, I had not bothered to research the details. However, I became a bit alarmed when the great -L- pointed out that, in the end, Abelard had been castrated.

So, I decided to do some research into the lives of Abelard and Heloise.

Abelard was a
French theologian and philosopher best known for his solution of the problem of universals and for his original use of dialectics. He is also known for his poetry and for his celebrated love affair with Héloïse.

Abelard put forth the idea that universals exist a thoughts based on the particulars of things, in contrast to the idea that only things exist and the idea that only classes exist. Abelard also suggested in Ethica that intent is the criterion by which one ought to judge sin because a deed by itself is neutral.

As it turns out, the story of Abelard and Heloise is quite tragic (and, yes, does involve the aforementioned castration). During my research, I have also discovered

I am a simple man and I trust my friends in the Mormon Queerosphere. Although, I also realize that this could end up being the virtual equivalent of a "kick me" sign stuck on the back of my shirt - an experience I am all too familiar with from my youth :)

So, I ask my fellow gaymonites, MoHo's, and members of the queerosphere:

  • Do I keep my new name?
  • Or do I appeal to the Queen of the Queerosphere that she reconsider my moniker?

20 comments:

Foxx said...

For what's in a name? An Enigma by any other name would smell as sweet.

Beck said...

For what it's worth: I like it! :)

playasinmar said...

Might I suggest Edward Nygma?

Kengo Biddles said...

As Foxx says, what's in a name? You can accept your names, like I did, but keep them as your "courtly" name. (See my side-bar)

drex said...

It's a weird name, but the combo between you and your wife is neat. And I'm fairly certain that A. most of us don't know or care too much about the historical significance of the name (and further wouldn't have known much if you hadn't posted this) and 2. we aren't the type to bite on the whole 'kick me' thing. :P

drex said...

D. bag of almonds

Abelard Enigma said...

we aren't the type to bite on the whole 'kick me' thing.

A very good point.

BTW, call me dense, but I don't get the 'almonds' comment.

Abelard Enigma said...

Might I suggest Edward Nygma?

Hmmm, some dude who was castrated because of his illicit love affair, or a member of the Secret Society of Super Villains. What to do ...

Kengo Biddles said...

I vote you go for the super villain! They're SOOO much more fun! _AND_ you get to wear wicked cool suits with question marks on them!

Abelard Enigma said...

Well, I can promise you that I would not look anything like Emo Spiderman. In fact, I suspect I would more likely bear an uncanny resemblance to Jabba the Hut.

Although, the green suit does coordinate well with my new blog motif ...

Samantha said...

Okay, I admit that when I suggested the names, I did it tongue-in-cheek...but not to make fun of you, rather just because as famous couples go, this one is remarkable in so many ways.

And in my defense, I did say: I understand that after researching this famous couple, you may not necessarily wish to be called after them (by the way, Abelard's first name is really Peter), especially when taking into account the rather unseemly and messy end to their love affair, however, AtP and I agree that the names are most beautiful.

Forgive me for my warped sense of humor? I think you should keep the names--they're memorable at the very least. Oh, and I named Ken and Barbie after toys--you have to admit my sources add variety, if nothing else.

Darrin said...

I suppose I am the only dissenting voice. I think you should go with something more Shakespearean. All those guys seemed to wear smashing tights (even though they were heteros.) Fitting? Maybe.

I can't help but think - if Abelard wore tights, could you tell that he had been castrated? Nevermind. Maybe Sam is a bad influence. I need more sleep.

Abelard Enigma said...

when I suggested the names, I did it tongue-in-cheek

As was my post :)

Although, may I point out that your specific wording was stronger than a mere suggestion:

Therefore, as is my custom, as Queen of the Queerosphere (a title bestowed upon me by The Great -L-), I hereby dub thee and thy wife: Abelard and Heloise Enigma.

The Queen of the Queersophere isn't going to be a flip-flopper, is she?

-L- said...

Darrin, I don't know if the nice folks in this very Catholic medical library where I'm now sitting will thank you for the audible outburst of laughter I just accidentally let escape me.

-L- said...

P.S. I like the name Abelard. Any name with 'lard' in it has my vote.

Abelard Enigma said...

if Abelard wore tights, could you tell that he had been castrated?

Nothing that a well placed pair of socks couldn't cure

[slaps face] sorry, I need to get my mind out of the gutter :)

Samantha said...

Well, I suppose if I have kept the gratuitous title bestowed upon me by The Great -L-, then I assume everyone else who is renamed will wish to keep theirs--so not "flip-flopping", but you're welcome to closely examine the line of authority from which your title came.

By the way, -L-, someday I'd like to have more duties than that of renaming those who innocently call their spouses "wifey". Just what is a Queerosphere Queen supposed to do?

playasinmar said...

I'm warning you. If you pass on Edward Nygma you'll anger the gods of awesomeness.

drex said...

PS "bag of almonds" is from an obscure "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" skit.

Is the answer:
A. B
B. C
C. A
or D. D?

Um...E. Bag of almonds, final answer!

...you just won ONE MILLION DOLLARS!!

-L- said...

Samantha, I don't really bestow titles. I think I was just making an observation when I called you Queen. You earned that title all on your own. What you do with it... I dunno?