Friday, May 11, 2007

Struggle


Struggle by Abelard Enigma

Like everyone else
I have struggles my life
I know that some face struggles
Far worse than I could ever imagine
But, for many,
The struggles they are faced with gives them a choice
They can lament their lot in life
Or they can accept what they have and move on.
That is what makes my struggle somewhat unique
For I have other choices
I can choose to be authentic to my true self
A choice that is, at times, is enticing
A choice that constantly beacons to me
Or,
I could choose to suppress these feelings, these urges inside of me
And to follow the path that I believe God has laid out for me
I have made my choice
I choose the harder path
But, everyday, I must recommit myself
And there are days
When my choice seems almost unbearable
When I feel as if I'm being pulled asunder
And sometimes
I want to crawl into a ball
Tighter, ever smaller
So small that
Eventually
I cease to
Exist
*


2 comments:

Beck said...

Who's to say that your "authentic" self isn't in fact the self that God wants you to be as well?

I don't know that you have to look at it as "either / or".

Gimple said...

Wow, that was really touching and I can really feel for it. Thanks for sharing. I have often wondered if I should start a gay lifestyle or to stay in the church. Life is tough. Again, I loved the poem.