I've only talked to a few people who were in MOM's that have ended; but, each of them told me that there were other problems in their marriage. Being gay was really just the straw that broke the camel's back - not the sole reason for the marriage to end. It makes me wonder if there is something to this.
I was talking in the context of "gay and married".
For instance, what common stages do "gay and married men" go through.
My guess is that the stages I went through are not uncommon for gay and married men and may even be common among gay and married men.
A few of my stages come to mind immediately: 1) The Honeymoon Stage 2) The Improve on my Marriage Stage (while totally ignoring sexual identity issues) 3) The Coming Out Stage (where the marriage is placed on the back burner while I finally sorted through my sexual identity issues)
My viewpoint changed with each stage.
For instance:
During the Honeymoon State, I wished all my gay friends were married to women.
During the Coming Out Stage, I prayed that some day soon gay men no longer would marry women.
Now, I cannot in all honesty recommend that gay men marry women but realize there will always be gay men married to women and want to support them as much as I can without encouraging marriage.
I recently put a poll up asking my blog readers how old you are. No reason really - I was just curious.
7 comments:
You didn't leave it up long enough! I didn't get to vote :P
I would have canceled yours Hidden!
and i voted twice.... just because I'm that type of guy :D
I didn't get to vote either! put it back up...
Abe,
I have no idea what the demographics mean. But your question triggered a lot of questions in my mind.
What role does age play in how "gay married men" see their situation?
Are there common stages men like us go through?
What do marriages that last have in common?
Regards,
Philip
What role does age play in how "gay married men" see their situation?
I think age can be a factor - not only age, but years in marriage.
Are there common stages men like us go through?
There are the Six Stages of Coming Out that many of us can relate to.
What do marriages that last have in common?
I've only talked to a few people who were in MOM's that have ended; but, each of them told me that there were other problems in their marriage. Being gay was really just the straw that broke the camel's back - not the sole reason for the marriage to end. It makes me wonder if there is something to this.
Abe,
I was talking in the context of "gay and married".
For instance, what common stages do "gay and married men" go through.
My guess is that the stages I went through are not uncommon for gay and married men and may even be common among gay and married men.
A few of my stages come to mind immediately:
1) The Honeymoon Stage
2) The Improve on my Marriage Stage (while totally ignoring sexual identity issues)
3) The Coming Out Stage (where the marriage is placed on the back burner while I finally sorted through my sexual identity issues)
My viewpoint changed with each stage.
For instance:
During the Honeymoon State, I wished all my gay friends were married to women.
During the Coming Out Stage, I prayed that some day soon gay men no longer would marry women.
Now, I cannot in all honesty recommend that gay men marry women but realize there will always be gay men married to women and want to support them as much as I can without encouraging marriage.
Regards,
Philip
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