Friday, February 9, 2007


The masses have spoken (which, at the time I'm writing this, is 7 people); and, they have decreed that the MoHo Book Club selection for February is Poetry (well, 5 of them decreed it). The Goal, as described by -L- is:
Anyone could provide a few poems on their blog and then comment on them. Whatever is personally meaningful.

I have a number of poems, quotes, etc. that I started collecting way back when I was just a wee little Mormon convert. While I was serving my mission, I started to compile these into a notebook. I continued to add to this notebook in the months following my mission. However, I stopped after I married - I don't really know why. I suppose it was just the time and stresses associated with being married, a full time student, and working to support a family.

Anyway, there are a couple of poems in my notebook which have special meaning to me and which I've tried to live my life by. Unfortunately, I wasn't very good about notating source references.

The Monument by Blain M. Jorgason

Before He sent His children to earth
Gave each of them
A very carefully selected package
Of problems.
He promised, smiling
Are yours alone. No one
Else may have the blessings
These problems will bring you
And only you
Have the special talents and abilities
To make these problems
Your servants.
Now, go down to your birth,
And your forgetfulness. Know that
I love you beyond measure.
The problems that I give you
Are a symbol of that love.
The monuments you make of your life,
With the help of your problems,
Will be a symbol of your
Love for me.

This poem is a strength to me whenever I start feeling sorry for myself and asking "why me?". I've used this poem when teaching lessons to the youth about Adversity.

Impossible by Alveda Polyak

You told me
And like the innocent child I was
I believed you.
You, with your lying
Twisting words that left me
Buried in despair.
You declared me
Before I had a chance
to live. But now I've
Grown. I've learned.
Some inner belief
Born in me
Unbound the iron clasps
And with eyes wide open
I see the world.
Now I can live,
Knowing throughout my entire soul,
I can do anything,
Everything, whatever
I faithfully believe
I can do

Something I've battled my entire life is low self esteem and a self defeatist attitude. I constantly have to remind myself that I am a child of my Heavenly Father. That I am worthwhile. And that I can accomplish anything I set my mind to do.

Who's Crazy? by Dayle King

You're crazy, they said, to aim for the stars.
The stars are much, much too high

You're silly! they shouted,
Look at yourself; You're human,
you can't even fly.

And so as I jumped and sprang and leaped
Laughing they all stood around.
I did not reach the stars, as they said,
But at least my feet left the ground.

You've all heard the cliché "if it ain't broke, don't fix it." I hate that cliché. If we truly lived by that proverb then we would still be plowing fields by hand. I believe there is always room for improvement in whatever we do. We need to take risks. And we need to set our sights high. We may never achieve our goals, but we will still be better off than had we done nothing. The other thing this poem teaches me is that we shouldn't be concerned about what others think. We need to do those things that we feel are right.

Finally, since coming out to myself a few months ago, I have tried my own hand at writing poetry. I've never done anything like this before, and I'm sure they would probably make an English major cringe. But, they do have meaning to me as they describe the feelings and emotions I've had as I've gone through this coming out process. You can link to all of my poems in the right nav bar. >>>>>

As I go back and read these, I'll be the first to admit that some of them are kind of pedestrian. But, there are a couple which have special meaning to me.

Alone describes how I felt when I first sat myself down a few months ago and said "self, admit it, you're gay". To a certain degree, I still feel this way at times.

The Way I Am describes my acceptance that this is who I am. I arrived at this point a few weeks after admitting to myself that I'm gay.

1 comment:

SG said...

Thanks for sharing these thoughts and poems. You're in the middle or perhaps you've already been through a difficult time many of us have been through. I have found the words of poems to convey feelings I had that to at the the time I couldn't put into words.

You will live through this. You will be stronger because of them. Your wife can be your strongest ally and best friend if you will let her and help her better understand you.

I understand! I've been where you are!