There is one line in this message that really struck a chord with me and which I want to blog about. Referring to a discussion he had with his Bishop, he said:
"...he believes (as do most people) that heterosexuality is about relationships but homosexuality is about sex."
When I read this, it was as though a light came on in my head. A 'eureka' moment, if you will. Although I'm attracted to men, it's not sex that I crave. I don't look at a cute guy and think "He's hot, I want to bed him". I'm married and can have all of the sex that I want. It is experiencing an intimate relationship with another man that I yearn for. A hug, holding hands, that sort of stuff. No kissing though, I don't like to kiss (men or women). I just have this thing about stuff touching my lips. I guess I wouldn't make a very good drag queen :-)
Why can't the world understand this? Well, for one thing, I think we can place part of the blame on Hollywood. Shows like "Will & Grace" depict gay men as thinking only of sex and doing everything they can to avoid relationships. I'm sure that there probably are people like that, both homosexual and heterosexual. But it is wrong to categorize all gay men to be like that. I've done enough reading the last few months to know that there are a lot of gay men who just want to find the right man - one to whom they can have a long term relationship with. That's what the whole gay marriage brouhaha is all about - gay couples want to have the same kinds of relationships that heterosexual couples have, including the legal benefits associated with those relationships.
How does this new understanding help me? I don't know. Although I yearn for an intimate relationship with another man, I am committed to my wife and will probably never experience it. Does understanding my yearning more make it any easier to endure? Probably not. But. it does make the yearning seem less tawdry.